Monthly Archive for April, 2008

While I definitely do not support the war in Iraq, I do however support our country’s Armed Forces and have a lot of respect for anyone in the military so this story kind of pissed me off here. A bunch of family organizations and members of congress are trying to pass a bill that would ban the distribution of sexually explicit material on all military bases. Their reasoning behind this claim is that porn increases violent and sexual crimes in the military. (FULL STORY)

So let me get this straight here. You can join the military and be sent off overseas to fight some pointless war created by the Bush administration but you loose your right as an American to masturbate to pornography? Get the fuck outta here! I mean what the fuck is this country coming to, no pun intended, where you can’t even glaze your knuckle after a hard day’s work of fighting a war? America needs to wake the fuck up and stop worrying about all this smalltime bullshit and focus on something that actually matters. I think we should give every soldier a stack of Penthouse magazines and some anal porn DVDs when they enlist. You cannot take away a soldier’s right to pop his purple pimple!

DG

So yesterday was my boss’s 45th birthday and since I have been friends with him for like twenty years I decided to get him something special, with my wife’s approval of course. Normally I get him a shirt or some bullshit that he never uses so this year I did something a little different, I hired him a stripper. It was actually quite amusing to see a woman dressed as a cop walk into our office, handcuff my boss and then frisk him like he actually did something wrong. Sometimes you need shit like that to liven up a hard day’s work!

But what got me was how much money this chick made in less than thirty minutes. Now I am not bitching about the price because I knew how much it was when I hired her off the internet. What gets me with this is that I wish I could actually make that much money in such a short time by just whipping out my dick in front of a few old horney women. Shit this chick made about 500 bucks in less than thirty minutes just to show her tits and dance around a little, it’s fucking amazing! So basically I’m jealous because I went to college for so many years and I can’t pull in a thousand dollars an hour. Fuck where do I sign up to be a stripper because I am definitely in the wrong business!

DG

So this was a very tragic story that happened here and my heart goes out to this man’s family. Sean Bell was killed on the day he was supposed to be married just after leaving his bachelor party by a bunch of trigger-happy police officers. If you haven’t read the FULL STORY on this then please do before you continue reading what I have to say here. These cops were cleared on all charges not because of race but because old Al Sharpton tried to make you “believe” that this was a racial issue. Two of the officers involved in the shooting of a black man were also black, so how the fuck can anyone say this was a racial thing?

If you cannot see what Al Sharpton’s involvement in this case had on the outcome then you are fucking blind! If he would have stayed the fuck out of this whole thing these bastard cops might have at least gotten some type of charge filed against them, which would be better than letting them go. But no, Reverend Al had to stick his damn nose where it didn’t belong again and fuck this whole thing up. The prosecutors buckled under Sharpton and decided to go with the angle of intent, which basically means these cops started their shift with the intent to kill someone. I don’t think that is true at all even though I believe the police were wrong here. If the prosecutors would have been smart with this, instead of following what Al says, then they would have gone with a criminal negligence charge or indifferent homicide. Sure that would mean less jail time for these pigs but at least they would have been handed some type of punishment.

It just pisses me off that every time something like this happens the race card is always pulled. This was about “power of authority” by asshole cops who felt the need to shoot a group of unarmed men. If we stop trying to say shit like this is racial all the fucking time maybe we can get the real facts in order and actually prosecute assholes like these guys. When are we going to realize that some cops are just plain dicks and will fuck with you because they can, not because of your color? I have been harassed by the police plenty of times in my day, and I’m white! Face it some cops have this “ego” that they are better than everyone else and think that because they have a badge they can do whatever that want. We need to make an example out of bad cops like these every time they fuck up in hopes that the rest of them will do what they are supposed to do, protect and serve not pick and choose.

DG

So I was in the bathroom the other day taking a big ass shit and I happen to be reading a People magazine about the New Kids On The Block getting back together while I was churning my dump. Some of you will probably ask, “Why did you have to say you were chunking a deuce to tell this story?” I am going to give you all a straightforward answer here. Basically I was taking a shit and reading about shit at the same time so I associated the NKOTB with my bodily functions. I can remember these fuckers sucked ass twenty years ago so I just found in coincidental that I happen to be reading about them while I was ridding my waste.

Seriously these guys didn’t even make it as solo artists after their “big fad” touched down so how can we expect them to make a comeback now? Hell the only one who actually made something of himself out of this group was Mark Whalburg, and he wasn’t even in the fucking group at all he was Donnie’s semi-talented brother! The rest of them ended up as used car salesman and single dads. And now since they are almost forty fucking years old and out of money they think they can make a comeback. Get the fuck outta here right? Fuck no!! The fucked up part here is that these guys actually WILL make a comeback.

Think about it, there are millions of 25-40 year old women who loved these retards like they had the fucking cure for cancer. Their concerts would basically be a menstrual cycle of married women, who still have the “hotts” for the queer band of the 80s and 90s, throwing their money away like they were hooked on Jimmy Swaggart and shit. I wonder if they will bring back all the NKOTB lunch boxes, pink overalls and slap bracelets too? Honestly out of any group we could have brought back for a reunion, why did we have to choose these assholes? Fuck, first the Osmands come back and now this!

DG

It’s Sunday morning and you wakeup, put on your Speedo outfit and pull out your bike from the garage. You then gather with thirty other cyclists, all wearing the same shit, and head out on the highway. No I am not talking Harleys here, I am talking about those ridiculous looking fucks on ten speed bicycles. These guys put on all their fucking gay bicycle gear and ride in sequence like they are in the Goddamn tour de France. Not only do they look like idiots, they also feel the need to block the fucking roads. These assholes will ride down a two-way street, take up the entire lane and wont yield for any cars. You bastards think that because you have forty motherfuckers on bikes that you are invincible or that you own the Goddamn road, well you don’t! These fuckers need to realize that just because you’re on a bicycle doesn’t give you the right to hog the damn road and not let anyone by. Take your fucking bikes and your silly looking outfits and ride somewhere else!

DG