Monthly Archive for May, 2008

I don’t know if you all have this type of shit where you live but down here in South Florida these guys are everywhere. I’ll be sitting at home or at work and all of a sudden there is a knock at the door. I answer the damn thing and standing there is some asshole trying to sell me meat products out of a cooler in the back of his pickup truck. Every time I tell these guys “no thank you”. And they just don’t take no for an answer or they just fucking come back the following week. “Sir I have three dollar steaks, are you sure you don’t want any?” Three dollar steaks huh? What the fuck kind of steak are you selling ostrich meat?

I don’t give a shit how good you say that meat is there is no fucking way in hell I am eating that shit off the back of some asshole’s truck. Number one it’s gross and you don’t know where that shit came from. And number two it’s been almost 100 degrees here the last few weeks and you all are riding around with meat in a cooler. Yea sure I’ll eat that! So no matter how good the deal sounds please will you all do me a favor? Don’t buy anything edible out of the back of someone’s pickup truck! Because you may be getting more than you bargained for in the long run.

DG

When I read the headline to this story, CLICK HERE FOR IT, I was thinking to myself “please don’t be a Floridian” and to my surprise it was not. Basically this couple in Germany put their 7-month old baby up for bid on Ebay. The description on the Ebay listing read, “Offering my nearly new baby for sale, as it has gotten too loud. It is a male baby, nearly 28 inches (70 cm) long and can be used either in a baby carrier or a stroller”. Not only did these fuckers list the kid on the number one auction site in the world they put him up for sale for one euro, which is the equivalent of $1.57. Can you fucking believe that shit? I mean how fucking stupid do you have to be to even think about doing some shit like this let alone actually going through with it?

Let’s give this lady the benefit of the doubt and pretend that this was just a joke, as that’s what the woman is claiming. Even so it’s not a funny fucking joke at all! One of the problems in this world today is that any two retards can fuck and produce a child, but not everyone can act as real “parent”. It makes me sick to think that there are people out there who would kill to adopt that baby and these assholes list the kid on Ebay like it was an old laptop or some shit. I think the authorities in Germany should put these two fucks under the knife and “fix” the both of them, that way these idiots will never be able to reproduce again!

DG

So I was out at the Hard Rock casino over the weekend to make my monthly donation to the Florida Seminole Indians. And while I was standing outside waiting for my car I saw a man sporting a buzz cut with an old school ponytail. Now for those of you who don’t know back in the late 80’s early 90’s men who had ponytails were the coolest motherfuckers around. I remember begging my dad to let me have a tail for the longest time and finally one day he gave in and let me have one, and shortly after that my pops had one too. But again that was twenty fucking years ago! Now don’t think that because I am bald that I am being bitter here because even if I could grow some hair I still would not have a ponytail under any circumstances. It’s just one of those things that are out of style, kind of like parachute pants you just don’t wear the shit anymore. So if you’re a man with a ponytail and you are reading this right now, do yourselves and all of us a favor and cut those fucking things off! Just because you were making a fashion statement twenty years ago doesn’t mean that it’s still cool today.

DG

So today is Memorial Day, a day where we are supposed to be honoring all of the men and women who served in our country’s armed forces. Now for some people this is a day of remembrance for those who lost their lives fighting for our country’s freedom. And for others it’s just a free day off where they can barbeque and get shit-faced drunk. You see there are a lot of people in this country who do not realize what Memorial Day stands for. These certain people could give two shits about the soldiers who risked or lost their lives so that we in America can have a better place to live. I honestly think that anyone who does not stop for at least a few minutes to recognize the men and women of America who helped make our country what it is today should get the shit kicked out of them!

We all need to stop what we’re doing, even if it is only for ten seconds, and bow our heads in respect for the people who fought for our freedom. Put down the Budweiser and hot dogs for minute people and have some fucking respect! Because while we’re all having a pool party there are soldiers overseas who are getting shot at right now. And no matter who you are or what you stand for, if you live in this country you owe our military veterans for their service. I’m sick of all the whiney fucks in America today who cannot see the big picture here. Stop all the petty shit for today and give some fucking respect to the people who gave their lives up so that we can all can live ours. I want to personally give a big THANK YOU to anyone who ever served in the armed forces of America, no matter what their job was or how long they served. Thank you for giving me my freedom!

DG