Monthly Archive for September, 2008

Okay so I grew up with a father who was a hunter, his father was a hunter and his father’s father was a hunter as well. I have been hunting plenty of times but have never once killed anything, as I just don’t have the heart to do so. I don’t have a problem with it but I just don’t particularly enjoy killing and skinning an animal for fun. Now there is a line that has to be drawn between what is actual hunting for sport and what is just plain fucking ridiculous. Let me give you all a few examples here. The first would be this story I read the other day, CLICK HERE FOR IT, where these rednecks in Wisconsin have been hunting deer with a Howitzer Civil War cannon. Yes you heard me right, a fucking cannon. And the other example is my grandfather in North Carolina who basically feeds his deer all year round and then on hunting season shoots the damn things right in the same spot he was feeding them in.

Both of these examples are more like stupidity rather than actual hunting. I mean what the fuck do you need to hunt something with a cannon for? First off the meat probably isn’t worth a damn after you blow the poor deer to bits with a freaking cannon. And secondly who the fuck uses a cannon in the first place to shoot anything? It’s 2008 for Christ’s sake! Now the other example, my asshole grandfather, is more like entrapment rather than hunting. It’s like feeding your dog all year round and then shooting the fucker when the season starts, it’s just morally wrong. Its one thing if you actually go into the woods not knowing where you’re at, track something down on your own and then kill it. But when you feed the Goddamn things all year long and only have to look out your back door to shot the fucker what kind of sport is that?

Maybe it’s me and maybe I’m too new school to understand this whole hunting philosophy but honestly it doesn’t really make any fucking sense at all. It’s like me having a big fish tank in my back yard, raising the fish from babies to full grown, throwing a line in the tank with my fishing pole to catch one and telling you all that I caught the “big one” like I really did something special. Basically it’s “cheating” rather than “hunting”, you know what I mean? The bottom line here is that hunting because you’re hungry is one thing but if the grocery store is only a mile away then what’s the fucking point in going through all that shit just to eat a piece of meat?

DG

I see these fucking guys walking around like this all the time holding their sack like it needs some type of comfort. Back in the day it was mainly the black guys who would walk around with their dicks in their hands but now it seems as if this is viewed as the “cool” thing to do. It definitely doesn’t make you all look cool it makes you look like you’ve got to take a huge piss and can no longer hold it. What is the fascination with walking around all day like you’re scared your pecker is going to run away or some shit? Where did this “fad” start and what is the meaning behind it? It’s almost as if you guys can’t afford underwear and are forced to support your dicks with your hands. Don’t you assholes realize how ridiculous you look? If you want to play with yourself all day long can’t you at least put your hand in your pocket like the rest of the pervs out there? Seriously the last thing I want to see while I’m at the grocery store is some white kid who thinks he’s black with his pants half off his ass, holding his dick and saying “yo nigga what isle can I pickup some beef jerky on son?” So I have a little bit of advice for you all, if you need extra support for your dicks buy some tighter underwear or a jockstrap. Nobody else wants to see you holding your little pecker all day long and trust me pulling it while you walk is not going to make it any bigger.

DG

I’m sure none of you are going to give two shits about this story but man does this make me laugh my ass off. If you all remember last week I wrote a post about how bad the new Microsoft ads sucked and made absolutely no fucking sense whatsoever right? Well yesterday I was reading a story from the guys over at gizmodo.com, who are all Mac whores like me by the way, about how all of those shitty Windows commercials were made on nothing other but an Apple computer. Yup can you all fucking believe that shit? How do you assholes at Microsoft expect anyone to take you all seriously if A. your commercials suck and B. the said commercials are made on the computers you all are bashing? That’s like Ford trying to say that Ferrari is a piece of shit and then using a Ferrari motor in one of their vehicles. It just goes to show you that even Microsoft wants things done the right way so why not use a computer, Mac, that actually works so that they don’t have any “blue screen of deaths” during their fucked up commercials? I keep telling you all that Macs are the shiznit and hell this is proof that even Microsoft knows that as well. You know what else we’ll probably find out next? That Bill Gates has a Mac at home too!

DG

CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL STORY

Have you ever been out in public somewhere and overheard some asshole on their cell phone talking so loud that everyone within a hundred yard radius can hear them? Well that happened to me the other day while I was standing in line at the bank. This fucking lady was talking so loud and obnoxiously that I seriously just wanted to smack her in the Goddamn mouth and tell her to shut the fuck up. She was going on and on about how she had to go to court and if she saw Keisha there she was going to kick her ass for taking her man and that she don’t give a fuck about no judge, you know the typical ignorant talk that no one else wants to hear. Now I got so frustrated listening to this dumb bitch that I got out of line and just left the bank because had I not I would have said something rude to this behemoth of a woman and judging by the size of her arms and her attitude she more than likely could have whipped my ass.

Now the whole point here is that nobody wants to listen to anyone else’s loud and meaningless conversation while we’re out in public. I understand that everyone has a right to talk on their phones whenever they want but you fuckers should respect the rest of us and do it quietly. We all don’t need to know about your bowel movements or that your baby daddy left you for some fat heffer or really anything for that matter. It’s just fucking rude to subject other people to be forced into listening to your conversations about shit that we don’t care about. Shut the fuck up or talk a little lower and give others the respect we deserve when we’re out in public you annoying, loud talking mother fuckers!

DG