Monthly Archive for December, 2008

So you see I have this little tendency where I always seem to say shit out loud without thinking first before I speak. One time back at a big named computer manufacturer that I used to work for I had a friend of mine, who happened to be a black woman, and we were always pretty cool with each other. One day she had asked me if I wanted any coffee, I said yes, and she then asked me how I liked my coffee. Well because we were buddies I always messed with her and jokingly told her that I like my coffee how I like my women, hot and black. Well she thought it was funny but my boss at the time who overheard what had been said did not seem to like that comment to much and decided to fucking reprimand me by writing me up.

Another time I used to work with this lesbian woman a while back and her being a big bull dike and all she was like one of the guys. Well one day we were having a discussion about someone else’s son and his choice of women and my dumbass decided to blurt out “well at least he’s not gay” in front of her and wow was that a big fucking mistake. This woman chewed my ass up and down, asked what I had against gay people and for the first time in my life I was called a “redneck motherfucker.” Now to make matters even worse I told her that I had nothing against gay people it was just that if I had a son I sure as hell wouldn’t want him sucking another guy’s dick. Well let’s just say I’ve never talked to that woman again.

Now most recently was last night where I totally put my foot in my fucking mouth yet again. Some of my family came down for the holidays and we were all hanging at my grandma’s house last night watching old homemade movies of all of us from like 15-20 years ago. Well my uncle, who happens to be Jewish, was there and in one of the movies he had a funny looking moustache back in the day. Now let me just tell you all that it’s probably not a good idea to tell your Jewish uncle that his moustache resembled one that Hitler used to sport ie a “Hitler Stash”, which is what I did. Now that was meant to be funny but instead caused an awkward moment of silence with everyone looking at me like I just killed someone. My only excuse was “whoops, I totally forgot my uncle was a Jew, sorry about that!”

So those are just a few examples of how old Doug here always seems to let his mouth get him into trouble. This has been happening since I was very young and although I’ve tried to control myself from speaking before I think I don’t believe it will ever change seeing as I’m twenty eight years old and still doing the same shit. Well there you have it, today I did something a little different and decided to bitch about myself and my own imperfections. Hopefully my mouth wont get me into too much more trouble but I kinda doubt that!

DG

Okay so I know a lot of people are having a hard time this year during Christmas with the way the economy is going right now. But no matter how bad things may be for you right now there is always someone else out there who has it way worse. There are little kids all over the country who don’t have a place to call home for Christmas nor do they have parents to buy them any gifts. For two or three dollars we can all make a difference by purchasing a small toy and going on over to a Toys For Tots location and donating it to the children in need this year. Open up your hearts people, stop being cheap bastards and give a little something to someone who needs it just a little bit more than you do. Like I said, I know times are tough right now but even the smallest toy can make a big difference in some child’s life on Christmas day. Do a favor and take your ass over to Toys For Tots’ website by CLICKING HERE to find the nearest toy drop off location or to make a donation straight to them on their site while there’s still time left before Christmas. I’ve done my part and so can you!

DG

So if any of you have been watching the news within the last three or four years you all may recall some really stupid shit that has been sold on eBay. We’ve had Britney Spears’ used gum sold on there for like fourteen thousand dollars. I’ve seen Sarah Palin’s fucking turkey on there not too long ago. A grilled cheese sandwich that looked like it had an image of the Virgin Mary on it that sold for a ridiculous amount of dough. Used underwear from some actress whore who I cannot seem to remember her name. And most recently Scarlett Johansson’s used nasty tissue that she blew her nose in on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno the other day, which is now almost at three grand. It’s like I cannot understand why people would even think about paying for this type of shit, do you? Seriously what makes Scarlett Johansson’s snot better than anyone else’s snot? Shit on a day when my allergies kick in I might have a hundred thousand dollars worth of used tissues lying around that I could sell.

Now I’m not really sure what’s worse here, the people selling this ridiculous crap or the people buying this useless shit with money that could be spent elsewhere. I don’t know about the rest of you but even if I had ten million dollars there’s no fucking way in hell that I would spend three grand on some stupid bad actress’s used snot rag I’m sorry. It just really pisses me off that there are so many people in our country suffering right now who can’t even afford to buy their kid a toy on Christmas and we’ve got assholes out there spending three grand on a used fucking tissue. What’s next, ten thousand dollars for a towel that Tom Cruise blew his load in after whacking off in a hotel room? Get the fuck outta here with this bullshit please!!

DG

So here’s a story that really kind of pisses me off. A truck driver here in South Florida caused a wreck back in 2005 that inadvertently took the lives of four people. The truck driver was speeding and lost control of his rig that was carrying a load of gasoline. When he lost control he pinned a car with the four people inside and unfortunately his truck caught on fire and those poor people got trapped and lost their lives. This is a truly sad story here because not only did four people die the truck driver who caused the accident has just lost his life as well. This man was just sentenced yesterday to thirty-six years in jail for his involvement with this accident.

Now the fucked up part about this whole story is the punishment he received. Yes I do believe this man should be charged with causing this accident but his sentence is a little bit ridiculous. This guy was not drunk or under the influence of any drugs when this happened and it truly was an accident. Granted he was speeding and like I said should be punished but thirty-six years in my opinion is fucking nuts! How did this guy get thirty plus years when that FBI agent who was driving drunk down the wrong way on the highway and killed two teenagers not too long ago only got six months?

I can see if this guy was fucked up or stole the truck and was running from the cops when this happened but that’s not the case. This was a mistake that this man will have to live with for the rest of his life, and the rest of his life will be spent in jail. Thirty years in the slammer is life no matter how you look at it. But what really fucking makes me mad about all this is the fact that this guy gets thirty something years for an accident and people who are convicted of rape or child molestation only get ten or fifteen years. That’s the part that I don’t get, what the fuck is wrong here? You know what’s even worse? The fuckers that murdered my friend six months ago probably wont even get this much time for killing a man on purpose but this guy gets thirty fucking years for an accident. Can anyone please tell me why our judicial system is so fucked up?

DG

CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL STORY