Monthly Archive for September, 2009

Another Friday Question

Published on September 25, 2009 in Doug's Friday Question. 5 Comments

Allright most of you know my take on music piracy and the fact that I do not download illegal music. I haven’t always been this way and yes back in the late 90′s when Napster first came about I downloaded more free shit than I knew what to do with. But that doesn’t make it right and as the years have progressed the more people pirate music it seems the shittier most music gets. That is one of the reasons why I do not download illegal songs and choose to buy what I listen to. Obviously you all know where this week’s question is going don’t you? Here it is….. What is your take on music piracy, do you pay for your music or download it illegally from file sharing services such as Limewire etc.?

DG

Let’s Just Ban Some Cigarettes Not All Of Them, That Will Fix The Problem

Published on September 24, 2009 in Daily Bitching. 7 Comments

Okay so I know smoking is really bad for you, causes cancer and all that shit, but still I am a smoker. I’m not proud of it but hey it is what it is. Anyway I woke up this morning to an article in the New York Times telling me that the FDA has now banned clove and flavored cigarettes but not regular cigarettes. Their philosophy behind all this is that children are more likely to smoke a clove or flavored cigarette rather than a regular one. Well what the fuck FDA? I smoke clove cigarettes you assholes, that’s not fucking fair at all! Really it isn’t because smoking is bad period, but what makes one cigarette different from another?

How are you going to tell me that I can smoke a regular cigarette but not a clove cigarette? That’s like saying I can have a hamburger from McDonalds but I can’t have any cheese on that hamburger because I might like it more. I’m not defending the fact that smoking is okay here but I am kind of pissed that the government is going to tell me that I can only smoke the cigarettes they say are allowed. To me that shit is so unconstitutional. You assholes do know that this is America not Cuba right?

Sure I should quit smoking again and I know that, but I’m not ready yet. In the meantime it’s not fair that the FDA will only allow me to smoke what they say is okay for me. Cigarettes are bad no matter what kind they are, but so is alcohol, saturated fat, caffeine or whatever else you can think of. That doesn’t mean the government can tell you what kind of those things you can have. What are you fucks going to do next ban vodka but allow us to drink beer? Get the fuck outta here with this shit! Either ban smoking or don’t ban smoking, but don’t take away ‘some’ cigarettes and not all of them. Again the word for today is ‘unconstitutional’, don’t you think so?

DG

CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL STORY

Justice Feels Sooooo Good!

Published on September 23, 2009 in Daily Bitching. 3 Comments

Some of you may remember that a little over a year ago one of my closest friends was robbed and murdered in the neighborhood I grew up in. It was a really bad time in life for a lot of people and if you’re not quite sure what I am talking about you can click here to get caught up. Well just yesterday the first of the three people involved in Artie’s death finished his trial, was found guilty of first-degree murder and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. The system came through for the good guys this time and it was a glorious day for everyone who loved Artie so much. This bastard who was involved in my friend’s death got what he deserved and will now spend the rest of his life in prison. Hopefully he’ll soon become someone’s bitch.

Quite a few people yesterday, including my own mother, told me that they feel bad for the three families of the kids involved because they too lost their children. I honestly do not feel bad for them one bit and have no sympathy for them whatsoever! No the only people I feel bad for in this case are the Tobin family. Those people can go to the jailhouse and visit their fuckups they call children any time they want, but my friend’s parents have to visit him in the fucking cemetery because of what they did. That’s right, maybe if those families had done a better job of raising their kids they wouldn’t have been out at 19 years old robbing and killing people. Good riddance to this fucking scumbag for what he did and I can only hope that the other two get the same thing in their upcoming trial. Justice has been served and it feels really good to see the system work!

DG

Elvis Impersonators Are Weird

Published on September 22, 2009 in Daily Bitching. 2 Comments

So the other day I was out at the store and happened to notice a rather oddly dressed man standing next to me. Right there I said to myself, “Could it be?” Yes it is, an Elvis impersonator. Now to me I was like what the fuck is this guy doing? First off this guy is here in Florida not Las Vegas. Second I have no freakin idea as to why these damn weirdos feel the need to dress up like a dead old rock star in the first place, no matter where they live. Grown ass men walking around trying to live their lives like Elvis Presley is absolutely fucking bazaar to me. I mean seriously how the hell did this phenomenon start and why do you guys assume dressing up like Elvis all the time is cool?

Sure he’s the king and he was the greatest rock star of all times blah blah blah. But lets think about this for a second. I like a lot of celebrities too, as I’m sure most of you do, but would you ever spend your entire life trying to look and act like the celeb you idolize so much? I grew up liking Scooby Doo but you wont catch me walking around in his costume all day long. Right, so why the hell do these ugly, overweight degenerates feel the need to dress, walk, talk and probably shit like Elvis fucking Presley? It’s not Halloween guys and you’re not making a fashion statement either. Elvis died a long time ago and so should the impersonators!

DG

Why The Fuck Do You Have A Kid?

Published on September 21, 2009 in Daily Bitching. 2 Comments

Today I really don’t have much to talk about so I figured I would give you all a little bit of informative information. Most of you know that there have been plenty of times where I’ve bitched about asshole parents on my site here. Well someone has taken my bitching one step further and created a website dedicated to all of the fucked up parents in the world. This site, www.whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com, is designed to expose all of the shitty parents out there who shouldn’t have kids and to me it’s much needed. Basically what the site does is list videos and pictures of parents who were caught in the act of bad parenting. Things ranging from moms and dads dragging their kids through the mall all the way to good hearted parents having sex with their child sleeping right next to them. Oh yea this site takes the cake when it comes to all of the bad parenting that goes on around you, and if you have nothing better to do then head on over to www.whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com to get your daily dose of some of the worst moms and dads that the internet has to offer. Enjoy and have a happy fucking Monday people!

DG

First it was me, alone in the pack, then Doug came later.

Published on September 18, 2009 in Daily Bitching. 6 Comments

I’m going to skip this week’s question to tell you all about what happened to me yesterday. For a while now I’ve wanted to buy myself an English bulldog. The problem is that the Goddamn things cost like three grand and I just couldn’t see dropping that much money on a pet. Well to my surprise yesterday I was given, for FREE, a one year-old bulldog! Yup I got myself my very own dog now. He’s smelly, gross, slobbers all over the damn place and walks around with his dick hanging out. It’s great! He’s exactly what I have been wanting, a man’s dog. I couldn’t believe someone just gave him to me and I’m so stoked about it. His name is Bugsy, but answers to Bubba, and he’s a beautiful purebred English bulldog who so far seems to behave himself really well. I brought him home last night and he fit right in like this has been his home all along. I have no fucking idea how things are going to work out with him, but from what I can tell I think he’ll be staying here for a long time. What do you all think, doesn’t he look freakin cool?

DG

Oh I almost forgot, I must have jinxed myself yesterday with the dog fart thing because he does a lot of that!

I Hate Dog Farts!

Published on September 17, 2009 in Daily Bitching. 6 Comments

So there you are sitting on the couch watching TV, reading a book or whatever you do when you’re relaxing at home. You’ve also got your dog lying there with you and the next thing you know there is this horrendous fucking smell in the air that almost makes you faint. You look down at your pouch and the damn thing looks back at you with this “haha I got you asshole” look knowing that he or she was the one who just ripped a nasty ass fart. And not just a regular fart either, no when a dog cuts one loose the smell of those things are completely unbearable!

It’s like what do you do? You can’t yell at the dog because obviously they don’t understand that they are doing anything wrong. You can’t get mad either because that’s not going to help the situation any. Basically you have to either sit there until the dog’s nasty ass gas goes away or simply put the fucker outside. Nine times out of ten you love your dog and would do just about anything to keep them happy, but when they fart your whole outlook on them changes.

Oh and before I forget, I’m sick of getting blamed for farts that did not in fact come out of my ass! That’s right, the dog can cut one and my wife looks at me like it was my fart. It’s bullshit I tell you! Nobody wants to get blamed for something they didn’t do and I damn sure do not want the smell of my ass compared to that of the dog’s. How about the rest of you, have any of you ever experienced the smell of a dog fart? Or have any of you ever been blamed for a dog fart? Isn’t it nasty?

DG

All The Fun Happens At Walmart!!

Published on September 16, 2009 in Daily Bitching and Weird Fucking News. 4 Comments

Here’s an interesting story to start your day off. Two young Walmart workers were recently arrested for removing the promotional DVD’s out of the DVD players used to help display the TV’s on sale and replacing them with some hardcore porn. Here’s what happened……

“Sexton and Andrews — an employee of the store — allegedly removed a promotional DVD from a DVD player built into a display in the furniture aisle at Walmart, 8301 Rogers Ave., at about 10:45 p.m. Sept. 3, according to police reports.

The DVD player was connected to six televisions in the store.

“The pornographic DVD was visible to the general public as they were shopping,” according to a police report.

Eventually, a customer notified a manager and the DVD was removed from the player, according to the police report.”

CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL STORY

Can you imagine walking down the isle at Walmart to get your shotgun shells and underwear then all of a sudden you look over to see some wild anal porn on all of the TV’s? I mean what do you tell the manager if you are the one who sees the porn first? “Excuse me Mr. bigshot Walmart manager, there seems to be a problem in the TV area! There’s some woman’s fat ass all over the TV screens and it’s making my buddy Jimbo horny!”

Is it just me or does all the fun seem to happen at THE Walmart? I think that no matter where you are in the United States that if you head on down to the local Walmart there is nothing but ghetto ass people and rednecks walking the isles. It’s like Walmart is the stomping grounds for all of the weird and fucked up people in this country. Don’t believe me? Well I’ve got proof! I’ve been meaning to share this site with you all for a while now and just needed a story like this to go along with the link. It’s called www.peopleofwalmart.com and is one of the funnies sites that I have seen in quite some time. Go on over and take a look at the People Of Walmart site then come back and answer this question for me, don’t you now feel better about yourself after viewing that?

DG

Kanye West Is A Fucking Asshole!!!

Published on September 14, 2009 in Daily Bitching and Dumb-Ass Of The Week. 5 Comments

Okay so I am super pressed for time this morning. Not because I am running late but because I’ve got a lot of shit going on today so I will make this short and sweet. Did any of you all happen to watch the MTV Video Music Awards last night? Well if you didn’t let me tell you all that Kanye West is the biggest fucking asshole in the entire world for what he did last night. Basically what happened was this, the young country star Taylor Swift had just won an award for best female music video and was on stage giving her acceptance speech. Taylor beat out Beyonce’ for that said award and Kanye, being the asshole that he is, jumped on stage and interrupted her by telling the world that “Beyonce’ had the best video of the year not her.” The look on Taylor Swift’s face was one of total shock.

Here this 19 year-old girl won her first ever VMA Moon Man and Kanye fucked the whole thing up for her. Seriously what the hell is wrong with you Kanye? I like you as an artist and as a producer, but as a person you are a fucking piece of shit! That was so wrong what you did to that poor girl and I’m glad you yourself didn’t win a Goddamn thing last night. Fuck you Kanye for what you did to Taylor and I hope that MTV never invites your crying little pussy ass back to any of their events ever again! I think everyone should ban you and your music until you learn how to grow the fuck up and act like a damn professional!

DG

Here you all watch the video if you haven’t seen it already and tell me, isn’t Kanye a total ass wipe for what he did?
[video:youtube:1z8gCZ7zpsQ]

This Week’s Question Is Legit!

Published on September 11, 2009 in Doug's Friday Question. 5 Comments

I think today is probably the shittiest anniversary of all times for every true American. 9/11 was a fucked up day for all of us and I think that no matter who you are or where you were that day nothing else in your life really mattered. I can remember exactly what I was doing when all that bullshit went down. I was working at Compaq computers back then and all of a sudden someone yelled out “we’re under attack!” Right then everything in the office just came to a dead stop. We all gathered around one computer screen and watched the horror unfold online, we were all in shock. You felt violated, almost like we as a country just got raped by terrorist fucking assholes. In my opinion it was the shittiest day in American history and my heart goes out to all the families of everyone who was killed that day. My question to you all today is very simple. Where were you and what were you doing when the attacks happened on September 11th 2001?

DG