Monthly Archive for August, 2010

I fuckin hate haters!

Published on August 31, 2010 in Daily Bitching. 2 Comments

Today I would like to talk about the ultimate scum of the fucking earth, haters. Now before I go any further I would like you all to take a look at the definition of what a hater actually is.

Hater:

A person who feels anger and/or jealousy for someone who has succeeded in something they have worked hard for. A being who speaks badly, and/or takes negative actions in attempt to create problems for a successful person.

Now that we all know the true meaning of a hater let me continue with why I can’t fucking stand hating ass people. A hater is the type of person who will make shit up about you and spread rumors to others in order to make themselves feel better about how fucked up their lives are. A hater will talk bad about you behind your back and then be all nice to you in person like nothing ever happened. Oh yeah, we’ve all got someone we know whose so jealous of your success that they feel the need to slander you even though they really want to be like you.

What is it with you fucking people and why do you feel the need to hate on others just because you’re doing so shitty in life? Is it our fault that we worked hard and followed the rules to help us become successful and you decided to be a fucking bum? No it’s not so why hate because other people made the right choices in life and you just fucked around? Stop being such assholes and starting rumors about people just to make yourself feel better. Stop acting like little kids and get over it! I fucking hate haters and really I’d like to punch every one of you douche bags in the face for being so petty and childish. Maybe if you hating pieces of shit worried about yourselves just a little bit more than you worry about others you might actually accomplish something in life.

Oh and if you’re wondering who I’m talking about here let me give you one little hint. It’s someone whose almost 40, and has never lived anywhere but their parents house, but still feels the need to talk shit about me. How about a nice go fuck yourself?

DG

What’s worse than driving while texting?

Published on August 30, 2010 in Things That Make You Go Hmmmm and Weird Fucking News. 2 Comments

Meet Colondra Hamilton, a 36-year-old woman from Ohio who was recently pulled over and arrested for “driving with inappropriate alertness”. Now one would look at this and say old Colondra here was maybe talking or texting while driving right? Fuck no, this bitch was dildoing herself while watching porn on a laptop that was sitting on the passenger seat! That’s right the cops pulled her over, saw she had her pants down with a vibrator on the seat and that her laptop was playing some type of pornography on it. Nice huh?

I mean I’m all for porn and whacking off, we all do it, but masturbating while driving is kinda dumb if you ask me. It’s one thing to have your passenger give you road head while you’re driving, but to rub one off while watching porn is a little extreme and very unsafe. Usually when I see someone driving erratically I always assume they’re on the fucking phone or texting, but now I’ll be wondering what the hell else they might be doing. The only thing I can say here is that this woman is either extremely horny or extremely dumb, wait maybe it’s both. Either way she got caught with her pants down!

DG

Click here for the full story!

Dumb-Ass Of The Week – This guy is lucky to be alive!!!

Published on August 28, 2010 in Dumb-Ass Of The Week. 1 Comment

Here’s something you don’t see every day. A 19 year-old kid, Brendan S. Eden from Ohio, thought it would be a good idea to drive 100mph in his old 80′s Pontiac Firebird during a police chase. What the fuck do you think happened? Well he hit a guard rail, flew into the air, hit a bridge, the car broke into a million pieces, he flew across the highway and still lived! Yeah he should have totally fucking died from his stupidity, but yet someone somewhere felt the need to keep ole Brenden here alive. He’s probably going to be facing a shit load of charges once he gets outta the hospital. Feel free to watch the police cam that caught the whole thing on video. What a dumb fucking idiot!

DG

Click here for the full story.

Another Friday, Another Dumb Question

Published on August 27, 2010 in Doug's Friday Question. 2 Comments

Yup it’s Friday yet again and you know what that means right? No shit, it’s time for another one of my dumb fucking questions. This week’s question is one that I’m sure we’ve all answered in our heads before. Have you ever just wanted to say fuck it, sell everything you own, pack up and move the fuck away to some new place where you don’t know anyone and just start life all over? If so, where would you go?

DG

Random Funny Shit – This Chick Has Got BALLS!

Published on August 27, 2010 in Pictures and Random Funny Shit. 0 Comments

Caption My Fuckin Photo!

Published on August 26, 2010 in Caption My Fuckin Photo. 3 Comments

Okay so just in case one of you all actually gives a fuck let me just inform you that I took the day off yesterday. Not that it’s any of your fucking business but I figured I’d at least let you bastards know. Anyway so it’s Caption My Fuckin Photo day and I’m doing it on Thursday this week because I can. What’s your job as a reader? Take a look at the photo below, think about what it’s saying to you and caption the damn thing. Well, what the fuck are you waiting for?

DG

Random Funny Shit – Pogo Stick Fail

Published on August 26, 2010 in Random Funny Shit and Videos. 0 Comments

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuEmZBBf32c&feature=popt17us04

Dumb Ass Of The Week – Thief Caught By Photobomb

Published on August 24, 2010 in Dumb-Ass Of The Week. 2 Comments

Meet the Myers family, a bunch of regular people on vacation in Madison, WI who were trying to get a family portrait in front of the State Capitol Building. Mr. Myer, the father, decided he wanted to take a photo and setup his camera on a nearby wall on a timer. After doing so he also placed his electronics bag full of goodies down right behind where he was taking the picture. Well after his family photo shoot Mr. Myer realized someone had taken his bag!

“We were taking pictures outside the Capitol building and I wanted to get a timed shot of the whole family all dressed up. So I put my bag down, placed the camera on a wall, got everyone to line up, set the timer for ten seconds, and jumped into the photo. I took a quick look at the image and liked it.

We then started to walk away when I realized my bag was missing. I went inside the building to see if someone had turned it in, but no luck. I ran outside and circled the building, but still no luck.

I then realized that I might have caught the thief on camera and I checked the shot again. When I saw the guy with his hand in my bag, I ran back inside and found the Capitol Police. They were amazing. They immediately sent out a description of the thief using the photo I took. In a few minutes, one officer had found him still in the area. The thief had dumped some things from the bag in a nearby trash can—the flash for my camera, a small backpack of kids toys, a bag of cables, extra SD cards, my mini tripod—but still in my bag were my wallet with cash, credit cards, hotel keys, rental car keys, and my iPad.
The Police recovered everything and hauled the guy off to jail.”

You see that’s what happens when you’re an idiot and you try to steal shit from nice people. Let this be a lesson to all you dumb-asses out there who feel the need to rip shit off. There’s cameras everywhere and more than likely one is watching your dumb ass while you’re committing a crime!

DG

Click here for the full story!

Random Funny Shit – Chinese Guy HATES RACISM!

Published on August 24, 2010 in Random Funny Shit and Videos. 1 Comment

WTF?! Skinny Jeans For Babies?

Published on August 23, 2010 in Things That Make You Go Hmmmm and Weird Fucking News. 3 Comments

Happy fuckin Monday folks! I’m sure you’re all aware of the skinny jean craze that’s being adopted by all the douche bags of the nation lately right? You know, skinny jeans the ridiculously tight and over priced ugly fucking pants that assholes wear to try and get attention? Yeah those! Well guess what? The Gap, American Eagle, Old Navy and a shit load of other designer stores are now carrying skinny jeans for toddlers. Thats right, your infant can now be just as big of a fucking douche bag as you are. Isn’t that fuckin cool? Not!

“Children’s apparel, including skinny jeans for toddlers and kids, has been a rare bright spot in the beleaguered apparel industry during the recession and the recovery. Parents quickly cut back on purchasing clothing for themselves, but have continued to spend on their children.”

Now I really don’t see the logic behind this but apparently these retail stores do and somebody must be buying these things. I just can’t see why anyone would dress a baby in skinny jeans, or anything trendy for that matter. They are babies for Christ’s sake! What’s next stilettos and fishnet stockings? Seriously what the fuck happened to Osh Gosh or Fisher Price? The next thing you know we’re gonna have kids popping right out of their mother’s vagina and onto a damn stripper pole. Some things I understand, shit like this I just don’t get.

DG

Click here for the full story from Wall Street Journal!