Stop acting like you don’t know what the fucking deal is. It’s Wednesday and that means your job is to caption my fuckin photo. Don’t try to act stupid, just caption the fucking thing already!
DG
Monthly Archive for September, 2010
I’m not going to waste anymore words than I have to today. All I want to say is that I fucking absolutely, positively cannot stand the bastards at AT&T! I hate you more than anything else in this world and it’s like for some reason I can never seem to get rid of you fuck tards. Fuck you, you fucking fucks at AT&T and fuck your mothers too! I hope you all contract syphilis and your sexual organs fall off you cock-sucking pieces of shits. And for the rest of you not associated with AT&T, have a great fuckin Tuesday!
DG
So last night was Sunday Night Football. Now it was bad enough that my Dolphins took a shitty loss over the Jets, but something just wasn’t right about the entire game. What was it you say? Well, I guess because of some Latin celebration or some shit most of the game was in Spanish while being broadcasted on regular television. The names of the Dolphins and Jets on the scoreboards were written in Spanish and half of the fucking commercials aired were in Spanish. Some of you may be saying to yourselves, “Doug, what’s the big fucking deal?” For one this is AMERICAN football for Christ’s sake not fucking soccer, and two if I wanted to listen to half of the damn game in Spanish I’d put on the Spanish fucking channel!
Seriously to some of you this may be just a little event celebrating whatever Latin shit they had going on, but to me it’s a total fucking disgrace to the NFL and one if America’s greatest pastimes. Like I said if I wanted to watch soccer I’d watch Goddamn soccer. This is an American game played in America so there’s no reason for this bullshit no matter what the fuck they’re celebrating. Sorry if I’m offending any of my Spanish homies here, but you all would’t like it if you turned on the Spanish channel and they were broadcasting it in English would you? Again this is a fucking crock of shit and I can’t believe the NFL and NBC actually allowed such fuckery. Leave football the way it has always been and stop fucking with our Goddamn traditions! What are you assholes going to do for black history month, broadcast the game in fucking Ebonics?
DG
It’s finally Friday people! That means it’s time for yet another dumb fucking question that you probably won’t answer. My question this week is one that might bother a few people, but I’m going to ask it anyway. Yesterday at a UN meeting the president of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, accused the US of staging the 9-11 attacks to our benefit and claimed that some segments within the U.S. government orchestrated the attack to reverse the declining American economy and its grips on the Middle East. This prompted two American representatives to walk out on his speech and is causing a major fucking controversy right now. Obviously you know where I’m going with this.
Could it be possible that old Ahmadinejad is not just some crazy lunatic and has a valid point here? Do you think that there could possibly be a US conspiracy behind the 9-11 attacks that we don’t know about?
DG
So there’s a video floating around the internet of some fat crazy redneck woman singing Sweet Home Alabama. Now me being me I had to do a little research into this woman because I thought this was some type of joke, unfortunately it’s not. Her name is Chris Athey and she actually takes requests from her “fans” on Youtube and then totally fucks up great songs for their enjoyment. Not only is this lady totally disgusting, but she’s also becoming quite famous on the world wide web for her ugly looks and horrible singing. I have to give it to her though she’s actually pretty entertaining and for some reason I can’t seem to stop watching her videos. Something tells me we’re going to see her on the beginning of American Idol this year for some reason. So if you’re looking for a good laugh, or maybe a new girlfriend, take a look at ole Chris Athey’s version of Sweet Home Alabama below and if you’re REALLY daring you can see her other videos and become a fan of her’s on Youtube by clicking HERE.
DG
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hos8Buwd4WE&feature=player_embedded
It’s Wednesday douches! That means it’s time for you assholes to caption my fuckin photo. Stop being dicks, look at the photo below, think about what it’s saying to you and caption the damn thing already. It’s not hard!
DG
So let’s say someone hires you to put up a billboard for the Southbend Indiana public school system right. And let’s just also say that because you’re putting up billboards for a living, and you also live in Indiana, that you probably don’t have the highest level of education. What could possibly go wrong? Well let’s see how about a sign that reads,
“15 Best Things About Our Pubic Schools”
Yup, that’s exactly what happened! Now granted the school board was not responsible for the typo and the billboard company took the blame, but still whatever happened to proof reading? The billboard company, Blue Waters Group, claims it was their fault AND that they actually had four fucking people read the shit before the sign was approved.
“Four people looked at it, eyeballed it and didn’t see the mistake, and those people all work for me. We take responsibility for it. We simply blew it. We did not see the missing “L.”
I guess that’s just how they roll in Indiana! I’m thinking that the four proof readers all went to the same Southbend “pubic” schools that they were making the sign for, but that’s just me. Either way it’s funny and also very stupid.
DG
Click here for the full story.
Okay so this morning I’m running a little late, but I thought that I might give you all a bit of good advice. If you’re driving a motorized scooter past a group of black people cleaning their cars it’s NOT a good idea to call someone the “N” word. Just look and see what happened to this lady here. Happy Fuckin Monday!
DG
So I opted to skip my Friday question this week and replace it with some other dumb-ass who royally fucked up big time. Meet Jessica Gamble, a 21 year old bad mother who not only gave her 2 year old marijuana to smoke but also filmed the whole incident. Ole dumb shit Jessica here is now being indicted on three felonies. Corrupting another with drugs, child endangering and tampering with evidence. All of them together carry a maximum prison sentence of 11½ years.
Now I totally think this woman should get jail time for what she has done. Not only did she risk the health of her child, but she has also exposed this poor little girl to drugs at really young age. Who the hell knows what kind of damage she has done to this child! This woman is a shitty mother and should be punished severely for her utter fucking stupidity. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, anyone can fuck and produce a child but it takes a real person to become a parent. This dumb fucking ghetto bitch here is NOT a mother, she’s a piece of shit!
DG
Click here for the full story!
Here’s the video footage if you’re interested.
Dear Asshole Who Made Me Sick,
I want to take this opportunity to thank you, whoever you are, for sharing your nasty fucking flu germs with me and making me sick as a damn dog. I really appreciate it and words cannot express how much I like feeling this way. It was very nice of you to not take the necessary precautions needed to keep your fucking cold to yourself and infect me with this crap. I just love feeling like someone ran me over with a truck and sleeping for 20 hours only to wakeup feeling even worse. I also totally enjoy the taste of Nyquil at night and Dayquil in the morning and I have you to thank for all this. I hope that the next time you are sick that you bring your wonderful infection by yet again to share with me. There’s just something about taking a few days off of work and lying on my couch with the cold sweats that I so enjoy. Also because of all the damn drugs I’ve been taking I called in sick to work, but I dialed the wrong number and totally got someone else fired from their job. Yes, thank you again for making me feel this way and getting some other poor bastard fired you shit faced cock master asshole mother fucker!
DG
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