Monthly Archive for November, 2010

One of the coolest holiday pranks!

Published on November 30, 2010 in Cool Shit. 1 Comment

I’m not sure if I shared these Prank Packs with you all before or not, but these things are fucking awesome. With the holidays coming up we all know fucking with people is one of the funnest things to do and the Prank Pack people got it right. What they do is create parody boxes of fake and ridiculous items for you to give as presents to people and when they open them they’re like, “What the fuck is this?” All you do is put their real gift inside these fake boxes and watch as people are fooled into thinking they just got one of the dumbest items ever made. For about 20 bucks you can get three of these parody boxes from Prank Pack and totally fuck with your loved ones or friends this holiday season. I’ve already ordered mine for some of those pain in the ass family members I enjoy messing with.

DG

www.prankpack.com

Knuckle Tattoos

Published on November 29, 2010 in Daily Bitching. 2 Comments

Okay so over the holiday weekend I happened to head out to pick myself up some tacos at a local Mexican place, no it wasn’t Taco Bell. Now as I was there I noticed this young cashier girl who was ringing me up had a unique tattoo across her knuckles which read “self less”. The “self” was across the right hand and the “less” was across the left hand, and this girl couldn’t have been any older than 19 or so. I stood there for a second thinking to myself, “Who in their right mind would put something so fucking stupid across their fingers, especially a female?” I don’t have anything against tattoos, as I have a shit load of them, but I do believe that unless you’re rich as hell or a rock star that you shouldn’t have the fucking things in places that are going to affect you from getting a good job in the future. Unfortunately for this chick she probably doesn’t know yet, but she’s gonna have a hell of a time trying to get employed anywhere other than that taco place or a tattoo parlor. It’s just a damn shame that these young kids think tattoos are all cool but fail to realize that getting something inked in the wrong place will most definitely affect their future. So if you’re reading this right now and you’re thinking about getting this “cool” tattoo across your face, knuckles or anywhere else that can’t be covered by clothes you should think twice about it. Sure your friends are going to think you’re cool, but trust me you’ll regret the getting that shit one day when it’s time to grow up and get a real job.

DG

Caption My Fuckin Photo!

Published on November 24, 2010 in Caption My Fuckin Photo. 2 Comments

Fuck yeah it’s Wednesday bitches! Actually for most people today is kinda like Friday, as most of us have the rest of the week off. Anyway you fuck tards know what to do right? Take a look at the picture below, think about what it’s saying to you and caption the fuckin thing!

DG

Do you want to be safe while flying, or not?

Published on November 23, 2010 in Daily Bitching. 3 Comments

Over the past few weeks all I’ve fucking heard and read about in the news is regarding the new full body scanners in the airports. You fucking people are bitching up a storm about this shit like we have nothing else to worry about in this country. All I hear is “that’s violating me” and “I’m going to refuse the scanner to rebel against our government”. Well you know what? If you don’t fucking like it then don’t fucking fly! Some of you seem to forget that almost ten years ago some crazy fucking dot-head bastards hijacked some airplanes and crashed them into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Um yeah, you don’t remember 9-11? So what the fuck is the big deal if they want to scan you? What do you have to hide?

I recently went on a trip a few weeks back and I personally went through one of the scanners which was no big deal at all. Actually it probably was the fastest I’ve been through airport security in the past ten years. I did however pop a viagra and look at some internet porn before I went through the scanner just to make things interesting. The bottom line here though is that when we fly we want to be safe right? So why not let the TSA do their fucking jobs and stop bitching about the shit already? I mean if it really bothers you then you have the right to take a train or drive a car if you decide to travel, but don’t bitch about your safety if you do decide to fly. At the end of the day I want to be safe when I fly and I could give two shits if some pervert looks at my dick. All I want to do is get from point A. to point B. and back alive and unharmed, so let TSA do whatever the hell they have to do to make that possible and quit your damn complaining!

DG

Hold your Goddamn fork properly!

Published on November 22, 2010 in Daily Bitching. 4 Comments

Here’s a topic that get’s on my fucking nerves every time I see someone doing this. It’s when they hold their damn fork the wrong way like the thing is a fuckin shovel. I see this from time to time while I’m out eating and when I do I feel like slapping the person in the face and asking them, “Didn’t your mother teach you how to hold a damn fork?” Come on now holding your fork like a shovel just makes you look like a Neanderthal who just got off the boat from some third world country or some shit. I don’t know why this bothers me so much, but for some reason it irks the ever living shit outta me. So if you’re one of these people who feels the need to hold you fork that way do us all a favor and learn the right way. Maybe you don’t realize it, but everyone is looking at you and laughing because you look like a fucking idiot!

DG

Follow My Bulldog Bubba On Twitter!

Published on November 19, 2010 in Awesome Animals. 4 Comments

Today I’d like you all to meet my bulldog Bubba who has now made a move into the future with his very own Twitter account. Before you say anything I know what you all are thinking, “Doug why in the hell would you want to give your dog a fucking Twitter account?” Well, I saw this really cool invention called Puppy Tweets where you hook up a little transmitter to your dog’s collar allowing them to communicate with Twitter. I know I know it sounds really corny and fucking stupid, but I think it’s cool so you can just shut the fuck up. What this thing does is monitor my dog Bubba’s movement, which isn’t much because he’s fucking lazy, and it Tweets for him based upon his daily activity. So what I’d like you all to do if you have Twitter is to please follow my dog, and of course he will follow you. Don’t give me any shit about how gay or retarded this is because I don’t give two shits about your opinion. I want my dog to remain being the cool mother fucker that he is and you can’t be cool these days without the Twitter. So click the link below and follow my fuckin dog before I bring him to your house and have him take a nasty shit on your front porch!

DG

twitter.com/bubba_bulldog

I Hate Sarah Palin!

Published on November 18, 2010 in Daily Bitching. 2 Comments

Okay today I would like to inform you all of my hatred for Sarah Palin. No, this has nothing to do with politics this woman just irritates the piss outta me. Her voice is annoying as all hell, her stupid new show on TV is almost as bad as the one with the 20 or so kids, she acts like a total fucking douche and I swear she says Alaska at least once in every sentence that comes out of her mouth. Yes, I absolutely hate Sarah Palin and I can’t believe the rest of you assholes in America actually embrace this dipshit of a woman. That is all!

DG

Caption My Fuckin Photo!

Published on November 17, 2010 in Caption My Fuckin Photo. 4 Comments

It’s Wednesday again already! That means YOUR job as a reader is to caption my fuckin photo. Look at the fucking thing and write down what it’s saying to you in the comments section. You got it? Well, what the fuck are you waiting for?

DG

Man Forced To Eat His Own Beard Over Lawnmower Fight

Published on November 16, 2010 in Weird Fucking News. 2 Comments

Here’s a great way to start off a Tuesday, with some weird fuckin news. Apparently this old redneck boy here got into an argument with his buddies over a lawnmower. Well then his drunk friends decided they were going to cut off his beard and make him eat it.

“He claims his beard was cut off and stuffed in his mouth and that he was ordered to eat it last May. And that’s only the beginning of what one Lawrenceburg man says he and his brother endured, all because of a fight over a lawn mower. “Troy offered to buy it from me for two hundred and fifty dollars. I paid twenty bucks for it. He thought I was trying to cheat him,” Westmoreland said. “One thing led to another, and before I knew it, there were knives and guns and everything just went haywire.”

Now you can read about this story all you want and it’s not very funny, unless you watch the video below of the redneck guy below actually telling his story. Now this is some funny shit! Have a great fuckin day people!

DG

Click here for the full story!

Ice Cream Truck Drivers

Published on November 15, 2010 in Daily Bitching. 3 Comments

Here’s a weird topic to start off a Monday morning. I don’t know what it is, but ever since I can remember the ice cream man has always been the most bizarre and scummiest of fucking people. I think no matter where you live, good neighborhood or bad, the ice cream man is pretty much the same nasty pedophile looking fuck face in just about every city in America. They drive around in the same shitty truck with the same shitty music playing out of a broken megaphone that sounds like total ass. The look like they should be posted on the sex offender wall, and to top it all off they never have the fucking type of ice cream you really want making you have to settle for some shitty ice cream sandwich. I’m absolutely disgusted by the ice cream man and can’t believe that we let these scumbags actually operate a motor vehicle and sell snacks to unsuspecting children. I’m not sure how one chooses to become an ice cream man in the first place, but I’m pretty sure there’s some type of white trash child molester club that these guys come from somewhere. I mean seriously come on here, have any of you EVER seen a decent looking person driving and ice cream truck before?

DG