I’m sick of explaining to you idiots how to caption a damn photo. Look at the picture below, think about what it’s saying to you and caption the fucking thing.
DG
Monthly Archive for April, 2011
So yesterday morning on my way to work I stopped at Dunkin Donuts for some coffee. As I was getting out of my car I was stopped by a man in his early 40′s who proceeded to admire my car. He was asking me what year it was, how fast it was etc. etc. Now this happens all the time so I really didn’t think twice about humoring this fuckin guy. As the guy kept on asking me questions a woman walked by, tripped and fell on the parking hump and dropped all her stuff on the ground. The guy and I immediately walked over to the woman to help her up and see if she was okay. She said thanks and without thinking twice I walked in to purchase my coffee. The next thing I know when I went to pay for my shit my fuckin wallet was gone! Holy fuckin shit these people just scammed the fuck outta me and all my stuff is missing. Goddamn it I can’t believe this shit! After reporting what happened to the police they informed me that the same people have been reported committing the same crime in the area several times in the past few days. These assholes were really good at what they do and this just goes to show you that you cannot trust ANYONE! I feel sorry for the next woman I see fall down or get hurt, because I for one will never talk or help a fucking stranger again!
DG
So it’s a little after six in the morning and I’m stuck on the fuckin toilet. I’ve been here all goddamn night with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had and I feel like my asshole is gonna fall off. I’ve gotten maybe a half an hour of sleep and I have to be to work in three hours. This shit totally blows! Thank God I’ve got the best wife in the world who went and got me Imodium at 6am. Hopefully I can recover and have a productive fuckin day, and I hope yours is better than mine!
Hey you, yes you the one reading this right now. Since you’ve already made it this far take a look at the picture below, think about what it’s saying to you and caption the fucking thing! Trust me, it’s not that hard.
DG
No, there will be no caption my fuckin photo day today. Instead I’m following up on yesterday’s post about that dick faced car salesmen. Yup that fucker totally lost a sale, as preggers and I went to a different dealership and bought the brand new 2011 Volkswagen CC that we wanted. Sure we had to drive a little further to the other dealer, but the people there were WAY fuckin nicer and got us into the car we wanted with the payments we wanted. So yeah the asshole at the other place who was so adamant about that Goddamn station wagon not only lost our business, but he’s also getting a thank you letter from the dealership that we ended up buying the car at. That guy can take his station wagon and stick it up his fat ass sideways while my awesome preggo wife drives around in her pimped out new car. Take that you arrogant fuck!
DG
And just in case you can’t see the car here’s one more.
So as some of you may know my wife and I are in the process of having a baby, she’s actually 28 weeks today to be exact. Now because the little one is on her way we decided it was time to purchase a new family car. After several months of online shopping, comparing prices and all that shit we decided on a Volkswagen CC. Well, I went online, got approved for the amount needed to finance the car and we went last night to try and buy one. When we got to the Volkswagen dealership we were greeted by your typical smug fucking asshole car salesman who when he saw my preggo wife the first thing that came out of his mouth was, “Are you here for a minivan?” No dickface, we would like to purchase a CC not a minivan. He then proceeds to tell us, “Well, I’ve got some nice VW station wagons here, I drive one and so should you.” No buddy we do NOT want a fucking station wagon! What do we look like to you, total douches?
Would you believe that this mother fucker went on and on about selling us a station wagon until he pissed my preggers wife off so bad that we just simply left?!?! He even went as far as trying to tell me that the VW station wagon is the “same” as the CC, um no fuck face it’s not. Yeah buddy you’re a real fucking winner I tell ya! I mean we’re pretty much the easiest people to deal with when it comes to shit like this. We already did our homework and we know what the fuck we want. Just give me a good price and let me be on my merry fucking way. But no, this dumb fucking moron just wouldn’t let up and I’ll be damned if I buy a car from that fucking place. I really just don’t get why the fucking guy was so adamant about selling us a station wagon just because he drove one. Just because you’re a total boring douche bag loser doesn’t mean we have to be one too you Goddamn tard! Anyway, hopefully I’ll have better luck at another VW dealer today.
DG
So the other day I let someone drive my car and they moved my seat. No big deal really because I have that cool memory button that lets me put the seat right back to where I had it. Well, the fucker who drove it pushed the memory button and it locked into their setting. You asshole, why in the fuck did you do that for?!?! There’s nothing worse than the utter panic you have when you start to drive your own vehicle and you can’t get into the same comfortable position you’re used to driving in. And now the damn thing will probably NEVER be where I initially had it set at. It fuckin sucks I tell you and honestly makes me feel like I’m driving a totally different car. So if you’re one of these people who needs to borrow someone else’s vehicle please try your hardest to be polite and NOT move all of the damn settings. It’s really quite annoying to the owner of the car you jack ass!
DG
It’s Friday people! Of course I’m sure most of you know that already. Anyway, let’s start the weekend off right by me asking you a question that you will ultimately ignore and not answer. You fuckin ready? Why in the hell do people fish for sharks? Seriously can someone tell me what’s the fucking point in killing them if you can’t eat them?
It’s Wednesday bitch! What I would like you to do is take five seconds out of your shitty day, take a look at the photo below and add your caption to the damn thing. It’s really not that hard!
DG
Today I’d like to complain about online retailers. You see I tend to do 90% of my shopping online. The main reason, as you can probably tell, is because I can’t stand going into a store and dealing with asshole people and sales personnel. Also I can search for the best price and usually get 20-40% off of what the stores are selling the shit for. But if there’s one thing that really bites my fucking ass is when you order something online on a Monday and these assholes don’t ship the shit until three or four days later. Fuck that, when I place my fucking order I expect you all to ship it the same day or the very next day. I don’t like waiting longer then I have to, I gave you my money and I expect you to ship my stuff in a timely fucking matter. So if you own an online retail store, sell stuff on ebay or are in charge of shipping at one of these places and you don’t ship when you’re supposed to then GO FUCK YOURSELF!
DG
Comments