I don’t give a shit if you all caption my photo or not, here it is. Have a happy hump day people!
DG
Monthly Archive for June, 2011
It’s Friday again peoples. That means I’m going to ask you another question that you will probably ignore and not answer. This one though is something that for some reason I can’t seem to figure it the fuck out. Can someone, anyone, please tell me why in the hell do people over the age of 50 refer to Facebook as “The Facebook”? “She’s on the Facebook there you can look her up.” “Oh you kids are always on the Facebook.” Seriously, what the hell is up with that shit?
DG
It’s Wednesday again and I’m fuckin TIRED as hell! I was up a little late and I’m most certainly paying for it this morning. Anyway, take a look at the photo below, think about what it’s saying to you and caption the damn thing.
DG
Good morning my fellow Americans and foreigners. Today I’d like to talk about something that I’ve been reading about all over the place lately, ‘Twitter Beef’. What is Twitter beef you say? Well, it sure as hell is not something you eat. Twitter beef is when two or more people take to their Twitter accounts to argue and talk shit to each other nowadays, mostly celebrities and hip-hop artists. What they will do is say something bad about another celebrity via Twitter, that person will get pissed off and tweet back until you have a full blown online argument. Yeah that’s fuckin gangsta huh? I mean back when I was a kid when all we had was a 56k modem and shitty AOL software, people used to get into fights in clubs and on the streets of South Central LA. Now all you babies do is tweet from your phones to make you feel all ‘bad ass’ about yourselves when in fact you actually look pretty fucking stupid. Grown ass people fighting back and fourth via Twitter is probably the most immature new fad of our time. Stop being such pussies and use your Twitter to promote a new album, or tell us you’re going to the gym, but please do not start a full on war of words on there because you’re only making yourselves look like bigger tools than you already are. Grow the fuck up and fight like you used to!
DG
It’s Friday again peoples! This week I have a semi-political question for you all, pun intended, about Anthony Wiener’s recent decision to resign. If you’re one of the millions of Americans who forgot about the rest of our major issues in this country for the last few weeks and have been focusing on the Anthony Wiener Twitter scandal then you’ll know what I’m referring to here. If not then just close your browser and go somewhere else. Do you all think that it was necessary for Mr. Wiener to be forced to step down from his position in Congress just for a few pictures posted on Twitter? I mean we do forget that Bill Clinton fucked Monica Lewinsky in the Whitehouse with a cigar, lied about it, then told the truth and was not impeached. Still to this day old Bill is embraced as one of the best presidents to ever serve our country, even though he totally got caught with his pants down. So why are we so hard on Wiener?
DG
One of my favorite things to do after a stressful day or working out in the yard is to have an ice cold beer. Usually I’ll buy a twelve-pack at one of the local corner stores by my house and crack open a few. But in the last year or so theses commie bastards who own the stores around here have started making their own twelve and six pack cases. How you say? Well, obviously it must be cheaper for them to purchase eighteen packs of beer and what they are doing is cutting the 18 packs down into 12 and 6 packs of their own and taping them together, see image below. This cannot be approved by Budweiser or any other brewer. It’s annoying to get a shitty taped up box of beer and trying to carry the fucking thing is even worse. It looks like shit and it’s just a tactic for these asshole store owners to save a few bucks. It’s utter bullshit I tell you and I am so reporting their asses to Budweiser. I’m pretty sure the Bud guys are going to be just a little bit pissed off when they find out that these jerks are selling beer that looks like this. Hopefully they’ll put an ending to the shit.
DG
It’s hump day peoples! That means it’s time for you all to take a look at the picture below, think about what it’s saying to you and caption the damn thing. Go ahead, try it out!
DG
Here’s one that kinda pisses me off a little. You see I try to be original and funny with my Facebook statuses. It makes people laugh and that gives me the utmost pleasure. But when people blatantly copy and paste my exact same funny status and put it as their own when we have mostly the same friends that’s pretty shitty. Get your own funny status and stop stealing my shit. It takes a lot for me to come up with this stuff and I don’t need some copycat trying to take credit for something that I came up with. Put some fucking quotations in there so that way people know you stole it and at least you’re acknowledging the fact that someone else has more creativity than you do you dick.
DG
So you’re sitting at a red light, in the right hand turning lane and there’s someone waiting to turn in front of you. There’s not a “no turn on red” sign and no traffic at all coming from the left, but still the asshole you’re behind does not turn and waits for the light to change green. This pisses me off to no end! Why do you fucking people do this and at what toy store did you get your damn driver’s license at? You do know that it’s perfectly legal to make a right turn on red unless otherwise specified, don’t you? So why in the hell do you tards sit there like you’ve never driven a car before and have absolutely nowhere to go? I know this may not be one of the worst things in the world, but if you’re late to just about everywhere like I am those few minutes waiting at a stoplight make a BIG difference. Get with the fucking program, put your damn cell phone down, pay attention and learn the freakin rules of the road!
DG
I’m alive! I know I haven’t blogged in about a week, and I’ve had damn good reasoning. You see some of you may or may not know that my wife and I are expecting a little baby girl. Her name is Hailey and she will be here exactly four weeks from yesterday. Honestly, I’m scared shitless! Why you say? Well, because this is my first child and I’m just really worried about bringing something so innocent into this crazy fucked up world. I know for damned sure that I’m going to be an awesome dad, that’s a given. But what I’m not so sure of is all of the things that I cannot control. Sure I’m probably driving myself crazy in my head thinking about all of the things that I do not want my little girl exposed to, but isn’t that what parents do? Like I said it’s not the whole parenting thing that I’m afraid of, no it’s the rest of you assholes out there that I will now spend the rest of my life trying to keep my daughter away from. She’s not even here yet, but I’m already thinking ahead and most certainly want to do everything in my power to make sure my little girl grows up to be a successful member of society and a great person. So that’s the reason why I’m scared to death lately because I now have the responsibility of making sure Hailey’s life goes as smoothly as possible without any interruption from the annoying douche bags of this world that I oh so hate. I know things are going to be just fine, however I’m still worried like a mofo.
DG
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