Monthly Archive for December, 2011

Fighting over a pair of shoes??

Published on December 30, 2011 in Daily Bitching and Things That Make You Go Hmmmm. 1 Comment

So last week I read several stories about people fighting over a pair of Air Jordan sneakers that were just released. Not only were these people fighting over a pair of fucking shoes, but others were arrested, and a couple more people were stabbed, all over sneakers that cost 180 freakin dollars. Yes, that’s one hundred and eighty dollars for some shoes that sure they’re Air Jordans, but the damn things are remakes of the same shoes that were released several years ago back when I was in high school. You people who do shit like this are out of your fucking minds. First off who spends that kind of money on shoes that technically aren’t even new? Second, where in the hell are some of these inner city poor kids fighting over them getting the money to purchase 180 dollar sneakers in the first place? And what’s the big fucking deal about a pair of shoes? I like nice sneakers as much as anyone else, but I’m not stabbing people and fighting to get myself a new pair. I just can’t believe that this whole scenario even took place to begin with and I wan’t to know where in the hell are these people’s priorities? This definitely sends a message to the rest of the world that Americans are getting dumber and dumber, and that the only one laughing about all this is Michael Jordan.

DG

M&M’s DO melt in your hand!

Published on December 29, 2011 in Daily Bitching and Things That Make You Go Hmmmm. 1 Comment

First off let me start by saying that peanut M&M’s are/is the best candy in the freakin world. If you don’t believe so then you are just an idiot. Next I’d like to say that the people at M&M’s Mars are full of shit. Ever since I was a young child I remember the phrase, “Melts in your mouth, not in your hands.” That is total crap! Have you ever eaten M&M’s? Have you ever eaten M&M’s in the humidity of Florida? Sure, they may not melt in your hand up in Pittsburg, but they melt in my hand every fucking time I eat them down here. I don’t know how they can get away with false advertising like that, but they do. Still that doesn’t change the fact that I absolutely love their candy, it just makes me wonder if I could make a product so good that I could totally lie about it and people wouldn’t care. Either way I’m still going to continue to eat my M&M’s, but I just wanted to simply point out that they’re a bunch of liars over there at Mars Candy.

DG

You’re not the most important person in the world!

Published on December 28, 2011 in Daily Bitching. 0 Comments

I don’t know how many times this has happened to me in the past, but I’m willing to say a shit load. It’s when someone is trying to get ahold of me and I don’t immediately cater to them. These people will call and call over and over again like that’s going to make me answer them faster. What I like to do is put them off for as long as I possibly can to make them suffer and wait. But still they will continue to pester the fuck out of me until I finally give in and ask what the hell it is that they want. Nine times out of ten it’s a bullshit computer question or someone wanting to borrow something, that’s not the issue though. The problem that I have is that these certain individuals believe that they are the most important people in the fucking world and that it’s my responsibility to be at their beck and call. I don’t think so! I could care less about your stupid issues, and honestly I wished you people would just simply leave me the hell alone. I’ve got enough of my own problems and I really don’t want to deal with yours. You may be the most important person in your world, but you’re definitely not in mine!

DG

Circus/Carnival Animals

Published on December 27, 2011 in Daily Bitching. 0 Comments

Last week I took my wife and baby to a local Christmas carnival here in South Florida. While attending said carnival I witnessed several animals in captivity there on display for people’s amusement and it really bothered the shit outta me. Small cages, a bunch of loud people screaming at them, asshole trainers and being forced to perform several times a night is what these animal’s lives are like. It’s very sad and unfortunate that we find this type of treatment of animals acceptable in society, when in all reality it’s extremely wrong. I wished that I had enough balls to take it upon myself to free these little guys from their captivity, but I’d rather not get my ass thrown in jail. I will however boycott any events like this in the future where they have captive animals on display, that I can promise. It sucks, but I will never expose my child to places like that again. If she wants to see wild animals then I will take her to their natural habitat to see them, the wild.

DG

Click here for the Captive Animals Protection Society

Dear Santa 2011

Published on December 23, 2011 in Daily Bitching. 0 Comments

Dear Santa,

Every year I write you a letter here on my blog, and every year you fuck me by not meeting my demands. Well, this year I’d like to request a few more things that maybe your fat ass will grant to me. First off, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m now a proud daddy of a beautiful baby girl. One of the main things that I’m asking you for this year is that in you keep my sweet little girl happy and healthy. And if she asks you for something in the future, you better make sure your jolly ass brings it to her or there’s going to be hell to pay. The next thing I need is for you to deliver one of those Rosetta Stone language learning kits to all the people in South Florida who are unable to speak English. That way maybe these people will finally learn how to talk so the rest of us can understand them. For once I’d like to order food without having to point at the fucking menu. After that I’d like you to deliver a bluetooth headset to all the other assholes who drive 10MPH in the fast lane while talking on their damn cell phones and swerving in and out of traffic. Maybe then I’ll be able to get to work on time without those douche bags cutting me off or getting in my way. Next I’d like to win the lottery this Saturday if possible, and I know you can make that happen tubby. You see I really need that fifty million dollars more than anyone else does and I know you can use your magic fat powers to accomplish that for me. That’s all I ask of you this year Santa, just a few simple things that I know you can pull off. I’ve been semi-good this year and I think that after all the other times you’ve screwed me by not bringing me the shit I asked for, that this year it’s your obligation to come through for me fat boy. So lets get to work and make this shit happen okay? As always there will be pot laced cookies and Jack Daniels left by the tree for you, so feel free to help yourself.

Your Friend,

DG

So you need something eh?

Published on December 20, 2011 in Daily Bitching. 1 Comment

There are several people in my life, both friends and family members, that I only hear from on occasion. Nine times out of ten when I hear from these certain people it’s not because they’re calling about my well being or just to simply catch up because we haven’t talked in a while. No, they’re calling me because they need something. I call it every time I see a missed call or text from one of them. “Yup, haven’t heard from so and so in a while and they are calling me over and over again. They must need something from me, better not answer.” And that’s how the story goes, but as soon as I call them out on why they never call me for any other reason but for their own benefit they get all pissy like I’m the one doing something wrong. Like how dare I say that the only reason you contacted me after several months of silence was just because of your own personal gain? How dare I actually say something to you about the shitty fucking way you’ve been treating me? Yeah that’s what I deal with sometimes and I’m getting pretty sick of this shit. It’s only going to keep happening if I let it, so I think it’s time for a change. Fuck your feelings, I’m going to continue to speak my mind and let you idiots know that I’m onto your bullshit.

DG

6 days till Christmas, nothing purchased.

Published on December 19, 2011 in Daily Bitching. 0 Comments

So as most of you know Christmas is this Sunday. I have not purchased even one gift for anyone yet and I’m cutting this shit kinda close. I’m not too sure why my wife and I have let this get so out of hand, but I’m guessing it’s the fact that we have a brand new baby to worry about. We’re usually late with everything, but this year we’re SUPER fuckin late. I wanted to say to everyone, “Hey, don’t buy me shit and I won’t buy you anything either” but I’m pretty sure they all purchased their gifts already, so that would be kind of shitty of me. So I figured I’m going to hit the Walmart today and buy everyone a gift card, problem solved. Sure those are the most impersonal gifts a person could possibly give, but at this point they’re lucky to be getting anything. Next year things will be different, I hope.

DG

Caption My Fuckin Photo

Published on December 14, 2011 in Caption My Fuckin Photo. 0 Comments

So I think I’m going to change the name of Caption My Fuckin Photo day to something like, Doug puts up a funny picture that nobody comments on day. Basically that’s what’s happening every Wednesday. Here you go, a funny picture that none of you will caption.

DG

Ebay just isn’t the same anymore!

Published on December 13, 2011 in Daily Bitching. 2 Comments

I’ve been a member of Ebay since 2003. I’ve got a 100% positive feedback from buying and selling with about 500 plus ratings. I jumped on the ebay bandwagon a long time ago and still use it to this day. But Ebay just isn’t what it used to be. There was a time when you could get just about anything you wanted, new or used, for a discounted price and no other place was cheaper. Now for whatever reason Ebay has turned into total shit. Sure there are some deals still on there, but for the most part it’s mainly counterfeit items or overpriced and outdated crap. I guess with all the other options and competition out there a lot of people have flocked away from Ebay and started selling stuff on other sites, or their own pages. There are so many other alternatives to Ebay now that I guess as a seller why should you bother when there are other places that charge less money for their services? Still I use Ebay for certain things, and there are a few good items on there from time to time, but it just isn’t what it once was. If the execs at Ebay had been a little more business savvy, like the guys at Google, they would have followed other trending sites like Craigslist, etc., and simply purchased them all up. But unless you’re looking for a fake Gucci purse or fading gold Rolex watch, I’d steer clear of the Ebay scene. All the good shit just isn’t there anymore, and if it is you’re gonna pay more than you should.

DG

Wrong people, wrong technology

Published on December 12, 2011 in Daily Bitching. 0 Comments

We all know someone who is a little older than we are and struggles with technology. If you don’t, chances are you’re that person. They’re the same people who used to struggle with setting the time on the VCR, and now they want to buy smartphones and laptops. It’s almost impossible to pass up purchasing some of the new cutting edge technology because the shit is so damn cheap nowadays, but some of you should stick to pen and paper. If you can’t figure out how to properly use an ATM machine, you should probably stay away from anything electronic other than a calculator. I don’t know how many times some of my friends and relatives buy something they can’t use and then expect me to show them how to operate it. Sure, I’m an IT nerd, but I’m not the Wizard of OZ and I can’t provide you with a brain. Don’t think that just because you can afford a computer that you’re automatically going to become the next Steve Jobs. If you’ve struggled with basic reading all your life what makes you think that all of a sudden you’re smart enough to own a laptop?

DG