Monthly Archive for January, 2012

TV commercials are so loud!

Published on January 31, 2012 in Daily Bitching. 2 Comments

So there you are sitting at home, watching your favorite TV show at a normal volume and minding your own damn business. The show you were watching now ends and here comes the commercials, holy shit they’re LOUD! What happened to the damn TV? You see this is a marketing ploy by big corporations to try and keep your attention during these dumb commercials so you’ll hopefully buy their shitty products. It’s really annoying when you’re trying to be quiet and can become quite frustrating at times. The commercials are just too fuckin loud. These damn commercials are so loud in fact that the government has now stepped in to regulate them. A new law called the CALM act is going into effect this December and mandates that the cable companies monitor the volume of all commercials so that they are broadcasted at the same volume levels as the TV shows. It’s about freakin time! The days of loud annoying commercials are almost over. With DVR’s and now the CALM act these assholes won’t stand a chance.

DG

Why does the internet hate Nickelback?

Published on January 27, 2012 in Doug's Friday Question. 2 Comments

For some unknown reason the internet hates Nickelback. Every site I go to there’s always someone cracking jokes, or making funny memes about them, and I have no idea why. If you enter “why does the internet” into google, it will automatically add “hate Nickelback” to the end of that statement. That means that millions of other people are wondering the same thing. Now I went ahead and did some research on this issue and there really isn’t a justified answer out there. Some say it’s because their songs sound the same, but I don’t buy that shit to be honest. I’m not going to lie to you, I fuckin love Nickelback. I’ve got every one of their albums and I think those guys are pretty damn talented. But for whatever reason every person on the internet seems to think the opposite. I don’t get it. Why hate on Nickelback so much? There’s plenty of other bands out there who suck major ass, yet the internet targets Nickelback. Why? Why not bash some shit band that actually does suck? I can’t see these guys selling multiplatinum records when everyone hates them, but they do. There has to be a legitimate answer for this hatred for Nickelback, and if anyone knows what that answer is I sure would appreciate it if you’d share it with me.

DG

Only in America

Published on January 26, 2012 in Daily Bitching. 0 Comments

So the other day I was browsing the internets looking for funny shit to read like I always do. Suddenly I stumbled upon this photo here of a french fry holder for your car. Yes, that’s what I said, a fuckin french fry holder for your car!! This is what is becoming of us American people, greasy fry holders so all the overweight lazy morons will have a place to put their snacks while driving. At first I thought this was a joke, but after a simple google search I found that this picture is indeed legitimate. But why? Why in the hell would someone need a french fry holder for their vehicle? Next you’re going to tell me that Ford will start installing microwaves in all their new cars. It’s just ridiculous that anyone would want/need one of these damn things and just goes to show you what the hell is wrong with people in our country. This is one of the reasons why the rest of the world makes fun of America, because we’re so damn fat and lazy that we now need a french fry holder in all of our vehicles so we can put on a few pounds while we drive. Cigarette lighters in cars is a no no, but please by all means go ahead and replace that with some fries. That’s way healthier!

DG

Everything is louder at night time.

Published on January 24, 2012 in Daily Bitching. 1 Comment

Is it just me, or does everything seem to be louder at night time when you’re trying NOT to be loud? The simplest things, such as a coffee cup being placed on the counter or a door closing, all just make the loudest damn noises in the world when you’re attempting to be quiet. During the day everything is fine and dandy, but as soon as the lights go out normal sounds turn into war zone sounds. The quiet normal footsteps turn into dinosaur stomps, the opening of a refrigerator turns into an army tank shooting, the flush of a toilet turns into Niagara Falls and anything else that doesn’t make noise during the day seems to magically turn into a big fucking boom. I wished someone could explain this to me because I honestly don’t get it. No matter how hard I try to keep the sounds to a minimum at night, I always seem to fail. If I didn’t know any better I’d say that this loud night noise phenomenon is some type of government conspiracy. If you have a better explanation I’d love to hear it.

DG

Just because it’s expensive doesn’t mean it’s nice.

Published on January 18, 2012 in Daily Bitching. 0 Comments

I don’t know about the rest of you all out there, but personally I’m not into ugly designer shit just because it’s expensive. I see people all the time who think that they are better than others just because they purchased a 500 dollar shirt that looks like someone threw up on it. Or then you have these women with their 5,000 dollar purses that are so gaudy you can’t even look at them without getting a headache. You see it everywhere and society today thinks that you must have these high priced ugly items to keep up with the Jones’s. I honestly don’t get it. I mean don’t get me wrong here I’m not the guy who buys his clothes at the K-Mart or anything, but I sure as hell won’t pay an outrageous price just for a golf shirt. But there are people out there who think that just because whatever it is they purchase costs a lot of money that automatically it has to be nice shit. That is so not true. I’ve noticed that the more something costs lately the uglier it gets, and people can’t wait to piss away their hard earned money on this crap. I had someone tell me the other day that their shoes cost them 700 dollars. 700 bucks for a pair of fucking shoes? Do they help you run fast? No. Do they make you fly? No. Are they going to last forever? No. Then why in the hell do they cost as much as a months rent? I just can’t see the logic behind all this and I probably never will. You people can’t wait to piss away your hard earned money on designer shit that you think looks nice, but in reality it’s just plain ugly and a total waste of money. Just because it’s expensive that doesn’t neccessarly mean that it’s nice. Invest your money in something else and stop throwing it away on this shit that people call clothing.

DG

Don’t touch my kid!

Published on January 16, 2012 in Daily Bitching. 1 Comment

The other day I was out with my wife and my baby out at the mall. I was carrying my daughter and decided to stop and purchase one of those delicious Auntie Annie’s pretzels they have there. As I was standing in line some obnoxious woman came up behind me and was saying what an adorable little baby I had. That was all fine and dandy until this bitch took it just a little too far and touched my child. I turned around, looked this woman dead in the face with an evil stare and told her politely  to keep her hands off my fucking kid. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with people, but this isn’t the first time this has happened. What makes strangers think that they automatically have the right to touch someone’s child? You wouldn’t walk up to an adult you don’t know and touch them, would you? Exactly, so why touch my kid? Some people need to learn the rules of personal space and refrain from putting their hands on children that do not belong to them before they end up getting seriously hurt. I don’t know you, nor do I know where your hands have been, so I’d appreciate it if you’d keep away from my little girl.

DG

Sometimes you have to just cut certain people off.

Published on January 13, 2012 in Daily Bitching. 0 Comments

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you simply have to get rid of any negativity you may have hanging around. What I mean by negativity is people who are no good for you. We’ve all had those ‘friends’ or family members who cause us nothing but grief and fuckin trouble. The ones that get you into situations that you would never have possibly gotten yourself into had you stayed clear of these people. They con you into doing shit for them or with them, and you are usually the one who suffers from their influence. The problem is that a lot of us do not rid ourselves of said people once they fuck us over or get us into any type of trouble. That’s when we have to wakeup, smell the fuckin roses and simply cut these people out of our lives. Sometimes it’s hard, but usually it’s the best solution. If every time a certain person comes around you they fuck you over, or even worse, why keep them in your life? Why keep being brought down by their stupidity and lack of judgement that only hurts you in the long run? I know it’s hard to kick people to the curb, but sometimes it’s what’s best for you. If they haven’t done anything but bad shit the entire time you’ve had a relationship with them, what makes you think that it’s ever going to change? Cut them off and move onto a life without negativity and bad influence. Trust me it will all be worth it.

DG

Vote for Vermin Supreme lol

Published on January 12, 2012 in Daily Bitching, Things That Make You Go Hmmmm and Weird Fucking News. 0 Comments

Yesterday this video was brought to my attention about an independent presidential candidate named Vermin Supreme. Does his name sound weird to you?  Well, it should because this guy is a little out there to say the least. Old Vermin here has some very strange political views, but his video has gone so viral that he actually has a 14% democratic approval rating in the primaries. If elected Vermin vows to provide a pony to every person in the United States and that pony will be used to identify us with his proposed “pony identification system”. He also proposes putting a law into place requiring everyone in America to brush their teeth and he supports zombie apocalypse awareness. No, I’m totally not making this shit up. Vermin Supreme is 100% real and this actually is not his first time running for office. This guy is totally fuckin out there, but honestly what politician isn’t? The funny thing is that Vermin Supreme is now becoming an internet sensation and he actually has a chance at running because of this. I don’t know about the rest of you, but that pony sounds pretty enticing to me. Anyway take a look at the video below and decide for yourself. Would you vote for Vermin Supreme?

DG

Click here for Vermin’s unofficial website, or click here for his Wikipedia page.

Just when you thought you’ve seen it all.

Published on January 11, 2012 in Things That Make You Go Hmmmm and Weird Fucking News. 1 Comment

I’m a little pressed for time this morning, but I wanted to share this story with you to let you all know how fucked up this world is sometimes. An 18 year old kid who was killed in 2008 by an Amtrak train is now being sued by a woman who says she was injured by his flying body parts. Well, his family is being sued. Is that not one of the most insane things you’ve ever heard in your life? I really don’t know what to say about this other than some people are just assholes. The kid didn’t commit suicide here, it was a freakin accident. Leave him and his family alone. Don’t you think they’ve suffered enough?

Click here for the full story.

DG

You DO know they still make telephones, don’t ya?

Published on January 9, 2012 in Daily Bitching. 0 Comments

It’s 2012 and we’ve got all kinds of advancements in technology that are supposed to make our lives easier, right? One of the main things everyone is so into now is texting. I’ll be honest, I was one of the last to adapt to the whole text thing because I believe speaking to people is way more personable. Eventually I suscepted to the texting shit and now I agree that sometimes it’s easier to text rather than call when you have a simple question to ask. BUT, there are certain times when texting should NOT be used. I know it’s a pain in the ass, and everyone likes to hide behind screens nowadays, but when you write three fucking paragraphs in a text message I think that’s a little extreme. Those are one of the times where people should remember that they still make telephones. Another example is when people can’t spell and you have to guess what kind of code words they’re using in their text message. That may be cool with the teenagers, but I have a hard enough time with one language and I have no desire to learn another one. Again, you’re better off picking up the phone because I’m not going to sit for 20 minutes trying to decipher your weird ramblings. And the number one issue that I have with all of this is the lack of emotion that comes with texting. Sometimes I can’t tell if a person texting me is upset or not based upon they way they write their message, which can become quite frustrating. How can you argue with someone like that? You cannot express feelings via text, and that my friends is when some of you need to stop and remember that we DO in fact still have this awesome invention called the telephone. Pick it up and try it sometime!

DG