Vote for Vermin Supreme lol

Published on January 12, 2012 in Daily Bitching, Things That Make You Go Hmmmm and Weird Fucking News. 0 Comments

Yesterday this video was brought to my attention about an independent presidential candidate named Vermin Supreme. Does his name sound weird to you?  Well, it should because this guy is a little out there to say the least. Old Vermin here has some very strange political views, but his video has gone so viral that he actually has a 14% democratic approval rating in the primaries. If elected Vermin vows to provide a pony to every person in the United States and that pony will be used to identify us with his proposed “pony identification system”. He also proposes putting a law into place requiring everyone in America to brush their teeth and he supports zombie apocalypse awareness. No, I’m totally not making this shit up. Vermin Supreme is 100% real and this actually is not his first time running for office. This guy is totally fuckin out there, but honestly what politician isn’t? The funny thing is that Vermin Supreme is now becoming an internet sensation and he actually has a chance at running because of this. I don’t know about the rest of you, but that pony sounds pretty enticing to me. Anyway take a look at the video below and decide for yourself. Would you vote for Vermin Supreme?

DG

Click here for Vermin’s unofficial website, or click here for his Wikipedia page.

Just when you thought you’ve seen it all.

Published on January 11, 2012 in Things That Make You Go Hmmmm and Weird Fucking News. 1 Comment

I’m a little pressed for time this morning, but I wanted to share this story with you to let you all know how fucked up this world is sometimes. An 18 year old kid who was killed in 2008 by an Amtrak train is now being sued by a woman who says she was injured by his flying body parts. Well, his family is being sued. Is that not one of the most insane things you’ve ever heard in your life? I really don’t know what to say about this other than some people are just assholes. The kid didn’t commit suicide here, it was a freakin accident. Leave him and his family alone. Don’t you think they’ve suffered enough?

Click here for the full story.

DG

You DO know they still make telephones, don’t ya?

Published on January 9, 2012 in Daily Bitching. 0 Comments

It’s 2012 and we’ve got all kinds of advancements in technology that are supposed to make our lives easier, right? One of the main things everyone is so into now is texting. I’ll be honest, I was one of the last to adapt to the whole text thing because I believe speaking to people is way more personable. Eventually I suscepted to the texting shit and now I agree that sometimes it’s easier to text rather than call when you have a simple question to ask. BUT, there are certain times when texting should NOT be used. I know it’s a pain in the ass, and everyone likes to hide behind screens nowadays, but when you write three fucking paragraphs in a text message I think that’s a little extreme. Those are one of the times where people should remember that they still make telephones. Another example is when people can’t spell and you have to guess what kind of code words they’re using in their text message. That may be cool with the teenagers, but I have a hard enough time with one language and I have no desire to learn another one. Again, you’re better off picking up the phone because I’m not going to sit for 20 minutes trying to decipher your weird ramblings. And the number one issue that I have with all of this is the lack of emotion that comes with texting. Sometimes I can’t tell if a person texting me is upset or not based upon they way they write their message, which can become quite frustrating. How can you argue with someone like that? You cannot express feelings via text, and that my friends is when some of you need to stop and remember that we DO in fact still have this awesome invention called the telephone. Pick it up and try it sometime!

DG

K

Published on January 6, 2012 in Daily Bitching. 1 Comment

Lately this has been happening to me more and more. It’s when you text, email or instant message someone and at the end of the conversation they use the word/term “K”. What the fuck is that shit? I mean to me that’s like the utmost form of laziness I think I have ever seen in my life. Think about it, ok is short for okie dokie or okay right? So why in the hell do we feel the need to shorten that ok to simply k? I know people are busy these days, but is it really that freakin hard to add the o there? Are you saving that much time throughout your day by omitting that o from the already simplified statement of ok? I’m not trying to pick at anyone here that I know, because 90% of the people I talk to on a daily basis do this shit, I’m just simply pointing out that you all are a bunch of lazy ass people. So please, for the love of humanity and non-laziness, start adding the Goddamn o to the ok people. It’s only one freaking letter!

DG

 

The older you get, the longer you stay on the toilet.

Published on January 5, 2012 in Cool Shit and Daily Bitching. 0 Comments

When I was a kid I always wondered why my old man would take forever whilst taking his daily shit on the toilet. He’d grab his magazine, head for the shitter and take about an hour to handle his business in there. As a kid I didn’t quite understand this whole long poop scenario, but as I got older it all started to make sense to me. Now I do something similar. I grab my iPhone, head for the shitter and take as long as I damn well please in there. It’s my quiet time, my thinking time, my alone time and my 30 plus minutes to get away from everything else in the world except for taking a massive shit. I guess you could say it’s like a sanctuary for me to simply meditate and not be bothered by anything outside of that bathroom door. What can I say, I love taking shits! Sure, some of you are probably thinking that I’m fuckin nuts here talking about my personal poop time. That just means you don’t understand it, or you’re a person who isn’t quite old enough to enjoy taking a dump. Everyone shits, some just don’t embrace it as much as others do. One thing is for certain though, the older you get the more you value your time on the shitter. Don’t believe me? Get back with me in 10 years then and then we’ll see who was right about your poop time.

DG

Only when it’s time to wakeup!

Published on January 3, 2012 in Things That Make You Go Hmmmm. 1 Comment

I don’t know what it is, but for some reason the comfiest spot ever found on my bed only comes when it’s time to actually get up in the morning. I could toss and turn all night long and never find that perfect spot to fall asleep in. Then as soon as my freakin alarm clock goes off and I hit the snooze button I seem to be in the most comfortable place. It never fails. This has been happening since I was a kid when I had to get up for school, and still happens to this day when I have to wakeup for work. It’s one of those unexplainable phenomenons that I’ll never know the answer to. Does this happen to you too?

DG

Some people have serious balls!

Published on January 2, 2012 in Daily Bitching and Only In Hollywood. 1 Comment

So last night my wife and I were sitting on the couch watching a movie, when all of a sudden we heard a loud scream. We look out of our window to see our neighbor across the street walking around frantically like something was seriously wrong. We then wen’t outside to see what the hell was going on. Come to find out our neighbors had been fuckin ROBBED! The worst part? My wife and I were home the whole time while the robbery took place. Now me being the good neighbor that I am, I immediately let the cops know that I have a surveillance system and invited them in to review the tape. Sure as hell these people’s home had been broken into while we were sitting right there by two guys on bicycles. You can see in the video that they were going back in forth on their bikes carrying whatever it was that they could get their hands on. It was really disturbing, especially because these fuckers were going right by our house while we were here at 8:00 at night. My wife and I felt really bad for this woman and her young child because you could see they were really scared by all this, actually so were we. I just can’t believe that these assholes had the balls to rob those nice people so early in the evening and while we were home, and right after Christmas. This city is turning more and more into a third world country and the sooner my family and I get outta here the better. I do however know what these bastards look like, and you can bet that if I see them around here again they will be caught. This isn’t my first rodeo when it comes to catching criminals in my neighborhood and I have no problem doing it again.

DG

Fighting over a pair of shoes??

Published on December 30, 2011 in Daily Bitching and Things That Make You Go Hmmmm. 1 Comment

So last week I read several stories about people fighting over a pair of Air Jordan sneakers that were just released. Not only were these people fighting over a pair of fucking shoes, but others were arrested, and a couple more people were stabbed, all over sneakers that cost 180 freakin dollars. Yes, that’s one hundred and eighty dollars for some shoes that sure they’re Air Jordans, but the damn things are remakes of the same shoes that were released several years ago back when I was in high school. You people who do shit like this are out of your fucking minds. First off who spends that kind of money on shoes that technically aren’t even new? Second, where in the hell are some of these inner city poor kids fighting over them getting the money to purchase 180 dollar sneakers in the first place? And what’s the big fucking deal about a pair of shoes? I like nice sneakers as much as anyone else, but I’m not stabbing people and fighting to get myself a new pair. I just can’t believe that this whole scenario even took place to begin with and I wan’t to know where in the hell are these people’s priorities? This definitely sends a message to the rest of the world that Americans are getting dumber and dumber, and that the only one laughing about all this is Michael Jordan.

DG

M&M’s DO melt in your hand!

Published on December 29, 2011 in Daily Bitching and Things That Make You Go Hmmmm. 1 Comment

First off let me start by saying that peanut M&M’s are/is the best candy in the freakin world. If you don’t believe so then you are just an idiot. Next I’d like to say that the people at M&M’s Mars are full of shit. Ever since I was a young child I remember the phrase, “Melts in your mouth, not in your hands.” That is total crap! Have you ever eaten M&M’s? Have you ever eaten M&M’s in the humidity of Florida? Sure, they may not melt in your hand up in Pittsburg, but they melt in my hand every fucking time I eat them down here. I don’t know how they can get away with false advertising like that, but they do. Still that doesn’t change the fact that I absolutely love their candy, it just makes me wonder if I could make a product so good that I could totally lie about it and people wouldn’t care. Either way I’m still going to continue to eat my M&M’s, but I just wanted to simply point out that they’re a bunch of liars over there at Mars Candy.

DG

You’re not the most important person in the world!

Published on December 28, 2011 in Daily Bitching. 0 Comments

I don’t know how many times this has happened to me in the past, but I’m willing to say a shit load. It’s when someone is trying to get ahold of me and I don’t immediately cater to them. These people will call and call over and over again like that’s going to make me answer them faster. What I like to do is put them off for as long as I possibly can to make them suffer and wait. But still they will continue to pester the fuck out of me until I finally give in and ask what the hell it is that they want. Nine times out of ten it’s a bullshit computer question or someone wanting to borrow something, that’s not the issue though. The problem that I have is that these certain individuals believe that they are the most important people in the fucking world and that it’s my responsibility to be at their beck and call. I don’t think so! I could care less about your stupid issues, and honestly I wished you people would just simply leave me the hell alone. I’ve got enough of my own problems and I really don’t want to deal with yours. You may be the most important person in your world, but you’re definitely not in mine!

DG